Why Your Hard Work is Backfiring

Have you ever tried to draw a perfect circle and noticed that the harder you try, the worse it looks? You start to squint, you tighten your grip, you press harder with your pen, and somehow…it’s the worst circle you’ve ever drawn. 

Of course, if you don’t try at all, the circle won’t be perfect—but is it smoother? Is the shape more symmetrical? Sometimes, you're closer to your goal without even trying.

I find this incredibly frustrating. 

If you’re like me, you were promised that more effort would produce greater results. That’s why we work so hard, right? We practice, we study, we wake up early and stay up late to achieve our goals. So why does it feel like all this hard work is backfiring?

The Snowball Effect

Tension doesn’t disappear on its own. 

We rely on a certain amount of tension for everyday tasks—gripping a toothbrush, carrying bags, rushing up stairs.

These small tensions aren’t a big deal on their own, but because they’re below our awareness, we rarely take the time to release them. Over time, that little bit of held tension accumulates into something much less manageable, like a snowball rolling down a hill. 

Have you ever gotten home from a long day, sat on your couch and suddenly gotten hit by a wave of fatigue? That’s the accumulated tension of the day, building up beneath your awareness until you finally stop and notice it—and hopefully let it go.

Tension doesn’t just go away with time. Tension gets released intentionally. 

If we don’t take the time to fully stop to let go of the excess, we start to experience a higher and higher level of tension as normal, our baseline. 

So when our teachers, coaches, and mentors tell us we’re trying too hard and need to loosen up – it’s good advice, but it’s nearly impossible to do immediately at that moment! 

Sneaky Satisfaction with the Feeling of Effort 

When working harder stops helping, it can come as a shock. 

For high-achievers, extra effort is what got them where they are. But at some point, more effort becomes counterproductive.

Sometimes, we only feel it once we are fully burnt out and exhausted. Our bodies force us to stop. If you’re lucky, you’ll run into a goal that doesn’t let you work the same way you’ve worked before. For artistic performers, this looks like a singer that can’t hit the high note because of a tight jaw or an actor who doesn’t present authentically because they are overthinking every moment. For an athlete, this may look like “choking” when they get up to bat or in the ring. In a corporate setting, this might look like struggling to speak clearly and confidently in front of colleagues, despite being well-prepared with excellent material.

Often and unfortunately, we see these challenges not as indicators that we need to change our methods, but as evidence that we are just not good enough. We either run away from the goal or charge ahead, repeating the burnout cycle.

Sometimes, we do this because it’s harder to admit that…we kind of enjoy the hard work. 

We feel satisfied by our effort. 

Sure, we didn’t reach our goal, but didn’t it feel good to try so hard? Don’t we feel like we did something? 

It’s hard to admit that what you’re doing isn’t working anymore and often it’s just easier to keep trying the same thing and hope that something else changes. 

Where Is It Going Wrong?

So, why is your hard work backfiring? – 

Your attempts to try harder are filled with excess tension that is getting in your way and you continue to try the same unsuccessful methods because you have grown attached to the feeling of working hard. 

Oof, too harsh? 

Well, I promise there is a way out. 

There are tools that can help you channel your effort more effectively. For me, it’s the Alexander Technique—a practice that helps you release hidden tension and stay grounded, so you can perform at your best.

It’s not about giving up hard work—it’s about learning to work in a way that doesn’t sabotage your performance. The Alexander Technique offers a path to finding ease, reducing unnecessary tension, and unlocking your true potential. So, if you’ve been pushing harder and harder but feel stuck, maybe it’s time to try a different approach.